Chains and Shackles

I don't understand why I get angry at certain things. I've just been accepted to medical school. Great, right? Should be, but isn't. Now my dad won't stop harassing me about what I "need to be doing" and that makes my stomach turn. I don't NEED to be told what to do. I don't like being forced into doing anything, even if I know it's something I need to do. I want to do all the things that I won't be able to do when school starts!

I think what I'm really angry at is that I don't know how to tell my dad to let me take it from here. He helped me tremendously in my applications to med school and he knows a few docs at the school and everything, so I'm sure that added a bit to my pool of plusses. So now I feel like if I tell him to back off his feelings will be hurt and he'll think I'm ungrateful. It's not true! Jesus, I hate being stuck in a crevice like this. Makes me wish a rock would fall on my head.

In other news, I've been recording a little music and hopefully I'll be able to put some up here in this blog if I can find a decent place to host the MP3s. Don't stay tuned, you'll fall into a coma.

Filed in: Angst • Mindfulness • Meditation