Feeling good without caffeine

After thousands of years of drinking coffee, I think it's finally starting to dawn on me that it has a horribly negative impact on my mood. I feel like a puppy that everyone's given up hope of him ever understanding not to shit on the carpet. He just doesn't understand why he's always getting yelled at, and as an unrelated wisp of a spark in his desperately feeble consciousness, he needs to drop a log. To him it's as if you're trying to say there's a correlation between doing high kicks (a la David Lee Roth) and the Great Crush Train Crash of 1896. Until one day, somehow, a single neuron with the willpower of Thor finally synapses with a hot looking neuron he's been eyeing from across the Corpus Callosum, and Winkie begins to understand what all the yelling has been about. Now when he shits on the carpet he's just fucking with you.

Well, it's the same with me and caffeine. I know everyone goes through ups and downs, just like I do. I just never put together the seemingly unrelated events of coffee drinking and shitty-feeling. The reason is because of the lag time, I think. At the moment of ingestion, I feel great and bubbly. But the downer doesn't come until many hours later, maybe even the next day or two. So it might also be the effects of withdrawal, as opposed to the caffeine itself. If that's the case, then the only solution other than cutting out caffeine is to never stop drinking it. But that's no good. You never know when you might find yourself in a coffeless hamlet. So I've decided to experiment for a bit and see if it really is responsible for some of the downiest of downs I've experienced in my life.

The last time I drank coffee was about 6 days ago. Then I was mildly depressed for about 2 days after that, which is when I finally thought of the possible connection. So I haven't had any since then and I feel great. I know it doesn't mean anything yet, but at least it's not a negative result. I'll go another week or 2 without coffee, then I'll try drinking a little decaf to see if anything happens.

I wonder where Winky would shit if he drank coffee?