Multifunctional furniture idea

I have this area in my house that needs some kind of furniture against the wall. But I also decided that it would be cool to have some hidden desk space. Sometimes I need a place to do lame projects, like painting some small wooden object, or drawing up plans for my next woodworking project. Usually all my desk and table space is cluttered with piles of crap I should have thrown or put away months ago. So I decided on making some modern-looking cubes, but I also embedded a couple of slide-out desktops. Here's my preliminary plan... any improvements you can think of?

Filed in: woodworking • diy • wood • furniture • plans

Piano tuner

Right now my piano tuner is here. I used to hate when he came and interrupted 2 or 3 hours of my day with that incessant banging. But now I find it strangely hypnotic and pleasant. For those who have never been in the presence of a live piano tuning, it consists of an odd guy (often a person with emotional and personal hygeine issues) striking each key of the piano 30 or 40 times while making tiny adjustments to the pitch. Then he moves on over to the next key and does the same to that one. It's like the worst song ever written. But magically, 3 hours later, your piano sounds awesome.

My guy is clearly from The Ukraine or some similar place, and I can't help wanting to imitate his thick Yakov Smirnov accent... "Oooh yis. Doo yoo wunt myi tyune pyanu? Vy suo miny brokin strinks?" He is awesome.

Filed in: Music • Piano • Tuning

The frustration of a lost state of mind

There was a time when my mind was clear and problems rolled off my back like a slimy egg on a hot car hood. That was dumb...but descriptive. Anyhow, I was living in Manhattan, working from 10 to 7, taking care of my dog and trying to write music. Even though I was not very productive, I didn't care. Instead I was just happy. The reason for this is that I was a chronic meditator. Every morning I would wake up early, take my dog to the dog run, then come back home to sit for 20 - 30 minutes. That's all it took to transform my mind and my life from a scatter-brained exercise in energy expenditure to a safe, comfortable exercise in equanimity.

Now that I'm a scatter-brained dynamo again, I look back to that calm time with yearning and jealousy. Seems kind of stupid that I am experiencing jealousy over myself; and furthermore that it's not aimed at a huge feat of accomplishment like constructing the pyramids or developing a cure for macular degeneration. I'm jealous of when I used to do less. All I would need to do is sit still for 20 minutes. Ahh, but the bane of growth and evolution is that naivete fades to stark reality. I can now see that I hesitate to start a new meditation practice because of all the previous times that I've 'failed' at it. At least 20 times in the past 5 years I've decided to fix my life and start a schedule of exercise and meditation; and usually a hundred other things all at once. Well, no wonder I have not succeeded at continuing with it. I now have a negative Pavlovian response to the idea of meditating. It's sad and should be rectified.

Today I will just read a bit from one of my meditation books. No expectation shall be made as to how I should feel or what sort of benefit I should receive from it. I'll report back here later.

Update:
I feel better now. I listened to Phil Hendrie and that always cheers me up. I also got rid of some of the monkeys on my back by paying off all my bills; some of which I hadn't opened since before christmas! Oh well.... all taken care of now. I also decided to start exercising again tomorrow. I know I do this every 3 months or so, but I see no option but to keep trying. =)

Filed in: Angst • Mindfulness • Meditation •

Parental Emotional Distance

I saw my dad tonight and I hate how distant we've become. But I also know there are some things about my dad I don't like, so maybe being a little distant is the best way to go. He's so annoying about my med school applications that sometimes I don't answer the phone when he calls. Immediately I feel shitty about it, but still I don't pick up. I know he is only trying to help me, but I like to be independent. Besides, if it's something important that needs to get done, I'll get it done my own way.

Anyway, I know he has a hard time really understanding my sexual confusion and this leads to a growing rift between us. He's uncomfortable with it, which makes me uncomfortable around him and my step-mom. So you've got 3 uncomfortable people that should really be relaxed around each other. I can't help it though, because I can't even explain it myself; so how am I supposed to explain it to him?

I might have a slight imbalance

This is my first blog post, so I'll keep it short.

I'm different from all of my friends. My brain swims around in my head grasping at thoughts, trying to ground itself. I'm told I can't do it all, and I know it's true but I try anyway. I seem to have a need for it. I have multiple degrees in jazz music. I'm about to start attending med school. I dumpster dive. I listen to Howard Stern. I have sexual confusion problems. I build furniture in my garage. I'm obsessed with inventing a device that generates electricity from the sun, but does not rely on photovoltaic cells. I'm trying to write and shoot a movie. Sometimes I believe Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK and sometimes I don't. There is no jesus, and when a train derails leaving 3 survivors out of a thousand passengers, it's not a miracle. I TiVo Family Guy and I'm intrigued by airplane crashes.

My name is not Myles, but everything else in this blog will be true.