I'm Jealous of Wil Wheaton

We're about the same age, so when I was a dorky 14 year old running home from school to be a dick to my mom because she was blocking the TV to say hi to me, Wil was already sitting on the bridge. I was a chunky nerd when nerd wasn't a good thing. Wil was skinny and... well OK he was a nerd too, but at least he wasn't a fat nerd. He was the kind of nerd that could get chicks just cuz he was smart... and they were HOT chicks too. So technically he wasn't a nerd at all. I don't know what he was, but I wanted to be him. While he was getting ready for his Starfleet exams, I was the most confused, angry little asshole.

Now Wil Wheaton writes the most beautiful and honest blog on the net. He has a great family that loves him, he has 37 trillion dogs and cats, he seems to be well adjusted and not afraid to show his true emotions. He is my hero! I'm stuck in the mire of ADD and sexual confusion. I've been single forever, and I don't even know what I want. I'm over 30 for Christ's sake! It seems like all my friends and I started a race at the same time, but somehow I fell into the deep mud hole and I'm watching everyone else disappear off over the horizon. I've been treading sloppy mud for 15 years; Wil has crossed the finish line, gone home, showered, made dinner for his wife and kids, and is in bed fast-forwarding through an episode of Jeopardy on his TiVo. He's a lucky guy, god damnit.


---- Disclaimer ----
Yes, I know Wil Wheaton is an actor and wasn't really on the bridge of the Enterprise. And yes, I know some people would say I'm over exaggerating and that I have a very accomplished life. That is true too, but this is the way I feel... and we all know that feelings and reason have nothing to do with each other.

Filed in: Wil Wheaton

Membrane Theory

As our brains evolved over the trillions of dark forest nights, they were honed for specific tasks. Thoughts that the human mind has no evolutionary history of decoding are too much for it to comprehend. It simply fails at understanding certain thoughts. Sharpen a scythe blade for 2 weeks straight, then try to use it as a coffee cup. It just won't happen. It's not made for that.

I'm in the middle of watching a program about string theory and parallel universes, and it purports that the entire universe is made up entirely of one single membrane! It sounds beautifully amazing, doesn't it? I instantly like it, but how can that be? A tugboat in Spain, a fossilized bear head, a flying crow, a landfill, a false eye and a fish farm are all existing on the same membrane? I can read the words, and I can accept them, but I can not truly comprehend it... and that is beautiful! I love not being able to understand something too elegant for my monkey mind. It is a dark, fog shrouded mystery that I can't help continually peering into.

Filed in: String Theory • Science • Cosmology