Days that seem so unimportant...

They seem to matter, but to count much later on.

That's a line from a Genesis song.

Anyway, I'm pretty drunk right now. I just got home from a neighbor's wedding and I drank a lot. Open bar, you know. So I drove home with a friend of mine whom I've known all my life. He's hot and just go divorced. I'm pretty sure he's not gay though, so I won't bother. There was this girl at the reception that is pretty cool though, and I think she likes me, so maybe there is some chance after all. I'm on my way over to the neighbor's house for an apres-reception party. Hopefully she'll be there. Or some hot dude. Only jesus can tell what I'm really interested in at the moment. 4 minutes later it changes anyway.
Long live Jesus! Well, Live Jesus At All... and then after that.... Long Live Jesus.

Filed in: Drunk • Babbling

There Goes My Hero

Tomorrow I'm going to meet with a hero/mentor of mine. He's a doctor and a musician (like me!) and has a crazy head like me too. I'm going to ask him how he deals with being pressured from all sides at all times. Actually, I already know how he deals... he just doesn't ever pull any punches. He says what he wants to all the time and although he won't intentionally hurt your feelings, if they get hurt it's your own fault. I'm not sure what I'm expecting him to tell me, but I'm hoping it'll help me stand up to my dad a little bit so he'll let me make my own choices in life.

In other news, I found an interesting program called Zinc that lets you make desktop applications with Flash. Sounds awesome because I wrote a piece of software a few years ago that transfers music from an iPod to your computer and people love it. The problem is that I haven't updated it in forever and it basically blows chimp now. So I was toying with the idea of re-writing it before med school starts.... and I know Flash WAY better than RealBASIC, which is what I wrote it in last time. Plus, Zinc is cross-platform so I can make a Windows and OSX version from the same source code which means I can start charging for it! I was thinking of charging $2 for it. Any thoughts on that? I thought it would be a good slogan to say something like "Two bucks. Come on! Come Ooooooooonnnn! It's only 2 bucks! Come Ooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnn." haha

Filed in: Angst • Flash • programming

Chains and Shackles

I don't understand why I get angry at certain things. I've just been accepted to medical school. Great, right? Should be, but isn't. Now my dad won't stop harassing me about what I "need to be doing" and that makes my stomach turn. I don't NEED to be told what to do. I don't like being forced into doing anything, even if I know it's something I need to do. I want to do all the things that I won't be able to do when school starts!

I think what I'm really angry at is that I don't know how to tell my dad to let me take it from here. He helped me tremendously in my applications to med school and he knows a few docs at the school and everything, so I'm sure that added a bit to my pool of plusses. So now I feel like if I tell him to back off his feelings will be hurt and he'll think I'm ungrateful. It's not true! Jesus, I hate being stuck in a crevice like this. Makes me wish a rock would fall on my head.

In other news, I've been recording a little music and hopefully I'll be able to put some up here in this blog if I can find a decent place to host the MP3s. Don't stay tuned, you'll fall into a coma.

Filed in: Angst • Mindfulness • Meditation